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====== Current dating trends and relationship phenomena ======


In the age of dating apps and social media, a whole range of new terms has become established to describe typical behavior patterns in dating and relationships. Below is an alphabetical list of important current terms (up to 2026) – each with a description and a short definition. Examples illustrate their use in everyday life.

===== A =====


[[affordating|Affordating]] – A combination of affordable and dating. Describes the concept of going on inexpensive dates to save money.

[[apocalypsing|Apocalypsing]] – A trend in which a new acquaintance is rushed into being taken extremely seriously, as if it were the last chance at love. You act as if the end of the world is nigh and invest excessively quickly and intensely in the relationship. 

===== B =====


[[benching|Benching]] – Someone keeps a dating partner on standby without letting the relationship progress to the next level. The person is “kept happy” with just enough interest while the “bencher” explores other options. 

[[breadcrumbing|Breadcrumbing]] – A form of emotional stalling in which someone gives another person minimal attention and affection – just enough to keep their hopes up. The “breadcrumber” may, for example, occasionally send flirty messages, likes on social media, or noncommittal suggestions (“We should do something together sometime”) without any real interest in a committed relationship.

===== C =====


[[catfishing|Catfishing]] – Pretending to be someone else on social networks or dating platforms in order to deceive others. A “catfish” uses stolen photos or false information to gain the trust of a dating partner, for example.

[[cloaking|Cloaking]] – An escalation of ghosting, where someone not only fails to show up for a date, but also blocks the other person everywhere and makes themselves untraceable. (The term cloak = camouflage cloak, illustrates the complete “invisibility” to the other person.)

[[cookie-jarring|Cookie-jarring]] – Someone keeps a person as a backup partner while continuing to look for someone “better.” Unlike benching or cushioning, the person is being dated, but it is never clearly communicated whether it is serious – they are to remain available in case a better option comes along. (The term is derived from the idea of saving a cookie in the cookie jar in case you feel like eating it later.)

[[cushioning|Cushioning]] – A person in a relationship (or in a serious dating relationship) keeps other potential partners “warm” in case the current relationship fails. The term comes from cushion = padding – you want a soft emotional fall. Typical examples include secretly continuing to flirt on dating apps or casually dating other people so as not to be left alone in the event of a breakup. 

===== G =====


[[gaslighting|Gaslighting]] – Psychological manipulation in which one person deliberately makes another doubt their perception and sanity. Gaslighting is a subtle form of emotional abuse that fosters permanent doubt about one's own reality. Typical tactics include denying obvious events, downplaying the victim's feelings, or convincing them that the reality they remember “didn't happen.”

[[ghosting|Ghosting]] – Completely cutting off contact without explanation. One person suddenly stops communicating and disappears from the other person's life without comment. Messages or calls from the “victim” go unanswered. For the person who has been abandoned, this behavior feels like an emotional blow into nothingness, as there is no closure or explanation. 

[[groundhogging|Groundhogging]] – Named after the movie Groundhog Day: The phenomenon of repeatedly dating the same “type” of person and being surprised that the relationships fail similarly every time. 

===== H =====


[[haunting|Haunting]] – Similar to orbiting, but even more sporadic. The person who has actually withdrawn occasionally reappears like a “ghost” to remain in your memory, but very rarely. 

[[hardballing|Hardballing]] – Radically honest dating without games. The term is derived from to play hardball (to negotiate toughly). In hardballing, your own relationship intentions and expectations are communicated openly from the outset, so as not to waste time with people who don't want the same thing. It's about making clear statements instead of “beating around the bush.” 

===== L =====


[[love_bombing|Love bombing]] – A manipulation technique in which someone showers their counterpart with excessive love, attention, and gifts in a short period of time. The goal of the “love bomber” is to overwhelm the other person emotionally, quickly bind them to themselves, and gain control. At first, this seems like passionate infatuation, but often there is calculation or a narcissistic intention behind it.
 

===== M =====


[[micro-cheating|Micro-cheating]] – Small acts of infidelity in the gray area of a relationship: The partner remains physically faithful, but behaves in a subtly disloyal manner. This includes, for example, secretly flirting via chat, sending very intimate messages to third parties, hiding contacts, or constantly liking erotic photos of others. These actions usually take place digitally/online and can damage trust, even though there is no actual infidelity. 

[[mosting|Mosting]] – An extremely nasty combination of love bombing and ghosting. First, someone is showered with compliments and affection (“he/she gives the most”), only to then suddenly disappear without comment.

===== N =====


[[negging|Negging]] – A disparaging compliment used as a manipulative tactic when flirting. The “negger” makes seemingly complimentary comments that have a critical undertone and are intended to unsettle the other person. The goal is to weaken the self-esteem of the person being addressed so that they seek approval from the negger. 

===== O =====


[[orbiting|Orbiting]] – Someone ends direct contact (similar to ghosting), but remains present on social media and continues to “orbit” around the other person's life. The orbiter, for example, looks at all stories, likes posts, or occasionally comments – without any real conversation or meeting. This behavior leaves the other person feeling insecure because they feel observed but have no clarity. 

===== P =====


[[phubbing|Phubbing]] – Not purely a dating phenomenon, but common in everyday relationships: ignoring a partner who is present in favor of your smartphone. Phubbing occurs when, for example, you constantly look at your phone on a date or in a relationship and thus “dismiss” the other person. 

[[stashing|Pocketing]] – see [[stashing|Stashing]] (used synonymously).

===== R =====


[[roaching|Roaching]] – Concealing multiple parallel affairs at the beginning of a dating phase. The name alludes to the fact that, as with cockroaches, “when you see one, there are often more hidden.” Roaching means that someone flirts with a person but conceals the fact that he/she is also dating or having sexual contact with others at the same time. 

===== S =====


[[situationship|Situationship]] – An undefined relationship status between friends with benefits and a committed relationship. You spend time together regularly (emotionally and often intimately), but you are not officially together and avoid labeling it. At least one person is unclear about where they stand. This “light relationship” offers closeness without commitment. 

[[sneating|Sneating]] – A trick where someone only dates for free meals. The person is primarily interested in free meals at good restaurants and less in the other person. 

[[stashing|Stashing]] – Hiding your partner from your social circle. A “stasher” keeps the other person away from their friends, family, and social media, as if they were something to be locked away. The relationship only takes place in private, never in public. Reasons for this can include a lack of commitment, indecision, or even embarrassment. 

[[zombieing|Submarining]] – see [[zombieing|Zombieing]] (used synonymously; “resurfacing like a submarine after diving”).

===== Z =====


[[zombieing|Zombieing]] – When someone unexpectedly reappears after ghosting, as if nothing had happened. The “zombie” reappears weeks or months after suddenly cutting off contact—without apology or explanation—and tries to continue the relationship.


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//Additional note//: These terms are part of an ever-expanding modern dating vocabulary. They help to pinpoint certain behaviors and talk about them. But as colorful as the terms are, ultimately it's always about interpersonal dynamics. Recognizing such trends allows you to respond better, set boundaries, and know that you are not alone in such experiences.